In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

futurewhore asked: I'm going to shove your blog up my ass
Write the porn you wish to see in the world.
Gandhi (via gallifreyandeductions) ←

Anonymous asked: Are you a top or a bottom

that-scottish-girl:

micklovich:

this is the single most pretentious thing ive ever seen in my life im gonna vomit

SOMETIMES I FORGET THAT SOMETIMES AUGUSTUS IS A DOUCHEBAG

momjpg:

vegetariqn:

sniffing:

The 21 Most Ridiculous Infomercial GIFs

IM LAUGHING SO HARD at #6 omFG how do these people even survive

why would you even put an iron in a washing machine…

omg #9 is such an accurate representation of my life

thesonicscrew:

dutchster:

dear moths: if you like the light so much WHY DON’T YOU COME OUT DURING THE FUCKING DAY

imagine if one time they did

and they all flew towards the sun and died

just like

*poof*

no more moths

towongfoo:

pussylipgloss:

LESSSGOOOOOO

THIS IS STILL THE BEST BEST VINE EVER EVER EVER

tylanderrr:

capnskull:

I can’t hear you, I’m wearing my jacuzzi suit!

It’s 2014. Why aren’t these real.

tylanderrr:

capnskull:

I can’t hear you, I’m wearing my jacuzzi suit!

It’s 2014. Why aren’t these real.

toxicnebulae:

*applies mascara to leg hair* yes, much more definition and volume

amerlcanapparel:

*takes my homework home but doesn’t do it as a metaphor*

bussykween:

Talk dirty to meme

nosdrinker:

this is the teacher from the incredibles

nosdrinker:

this is the teacher from the incredibles

kuzco2000:

what the hell’s a laker

kuzco2000:

what the hell’s a laker

lvysaur:

osamah:

lvysaur:

i could use a good laugh

haha

thanks